forthefirsttimer

Tips for a Successful Marriage.

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
                                                                                        Mignon McLaughlin                                                                                                                                                            

The poetry of a marriage either a full rhyme or a slant rhyme, the meaning and personification is always amazing. Doesn’t really matter whether you have had a love marriage or An arranged marriage; the purpose is to embrace this beautiful phase in your life. The deal is to understand changes and challenges.
A marriage (in any form) requires more time and lots of patience to understand each other's temperament and hidden weaknesses. The short definitions of love marriage and  arranged marriage- love marriage is marrying someone with your decision, and in  marriage; having parents’ consent in one's marriage decision. But in both cases there is something common- effort to understand each other and carry on together.



Whether it’s a arranged or a love marriage, it would keep both of you encouraged and excited in finding more things about each other; new stories, achievements, personalities, relations, priorities, dreams and some untold stories, but can also trigger your negative thoughts (about each other). So, a balanced opinion about your spouse is required. The best way to develop good and positive thoughts is by interacting frequently with your partner. It will put you at ease with your partner and will also improve the intimacy between the two of you.
Sailing through life’s rough waters is not what you want; rather this is what you both need to balance and complete this journey together.
Any  marriage begins and continues with lots of questions in your mind. When one is answered and understood, another doubt explodes. The trick for a happy longer life together is to discuss all your doubts (about each other and family) with each other. Amongst the most prominent fears, one is that of sharing space and adjusting to a relatively unknown partner and his/her family.
Many people generally believe that, “Arranged marriages do not work”, whatever may be the reason. But never describe a strong reason to say so! The strong emotions of a woman and the ego of a man clash in every attempt to make your marriage work. A little understanding about each other’s behavior and temperaments can do wonders. Remember not to give up until you try! Don’t use words like; struggling, hard time, sad, not working, surviving miserable marriage etc. to describe your ‘marriage.’ Such words truly destroy any opportunities to save and continue in a good marriage relationship. Find possibilities in your negative attitude towards continuing with your partner, and you will find different ways to deal with ‘not working’ reasons.
Usually seen, conflict arises as soon as the ‘honeymoon period’ gets over. Couples face reality and find it hard to understand each other. Any approach seems confusing and difficult to understand; who is right and who is wrong? What seems good and appropriate to one may not be liked and accepted by the other and the pressures of life builds up. Forget carrying on with each other, even talking to each other seems difficult at times. But this is the time you should continue to give more time to each other. Be a good listener to comprehend the conflicts/problems that are happening around you.
Four Foundation Letters for Building Up A Strong Marriage Relationship:
   A-    Appreciate

   B-    Believe

  C-    Care

      E- Eagerness
These four words cover all types of emotions, expectations and the muted feelings of two unknown people, who are together now, and in a relationship. Time out yourself and try to understand your role in this marriage. Are you justifying the needs? Only when you are happy and peaceful, you will understand all ‘new’ relations and their importance in your life. Take baby steps to know each and every one. Do not rush into any conclusions immediately!
A healthy married life requires lots of appreciation. Appreciate each other in small little achievements. This shows your care and participation in each other’s life. This way you make a positive impact upon each other and show that you really care about his/her improvement and success. You are aware of your partner’s likes, dislikes, taste, approval, importance and priorities.

Believe in each other. If one thing doesn’t go your way, wait for the next success. Instead of criticizing on each other’s weaknesses and incapability, tenderly support one another. Your spouse may not be a qualified engineer or doctor like you, but he/she definitely may be good at many other things, you haven’t even explored. Take time to find both of your strengths. Weaknesses always float at the surface and are noticed first than strengths.

Care seems to be a forbidden word in any marriage. We as couples usually think, “We definitely care for each other and there is no doubt about it!” But do we ‘really’ care about each other’s feelings? Care (here) means to understand each other’s emotional needs. More than love, both husband and wife need lot of affection. We often confuse this essential requirement with love and intimacy. ‘Affectionate care’ keeps you close to each other, just like a kid with his/her parents. A tender attachment felt towards each other, is called affection, and is a much wanted emotion among men and women.  But the catch here is, to understand each other’s different ways of expressing affection, because once such needs are fulfilled, you are left with lots of happiness and excitement, otherwise frustration and resentment rules your heart and mind.
Showing Eagerness in your partner’s hobbies and interests builds a strong emotional inclination and respect towards each other. This respect shows strong social elements in your relationship like; charming, happy, entertaining, friendly, caring and mutual respect, which in turn improves your public relationship.
Marriage is a very beautiful responsibility. The art is to learn the tricks and carry it forward together. So the decision to continue in marriage should be completely taken by the two individuals, who are in a relationship now. Clear this test together and come out successfully. A little effort to understand and respect each other’s feelings can treasure your marriage.
“Possibilities for the success of a marriage are endless. But you have to be willing to search for them.”
                        Jason R. Redmond  
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About The Author:

I am Epsita Mahapatra, a mother to a beautiful 3 year old daughter and a full-time blogger at present. I am decent at photography. But writing is my passion. This is the reason why I blog, to inspire lives positively by sharing my experiences and learning. I am an aspiring self-help and inspirational writer who believes strongly in positive thinking. I believe in finding possibilities in your negative attitude. My motto on LIFE- LIVE and CELEBRATE.   
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