First-Time Motherhood- A journey through the changes

I was way too excited about being a mother- for the first time. I was told many beautiful and terrifying stories beforehand, like; how to deal with possible ups and downs in this journey of parenthood. I believe I had read all possible articles about pregnancy and new mothers, but actually found many more new things after I became mother to my beautiful angel. She added a new meaning to our existence. I was super happy and excited to step on to this new beginning of my life. So, welcome to my overwhelming and miracle journey of motherhood. I promise not to pen down dos and don’ts of motherhood and child care, rather would like to share some of my experiences of being pregnant and a new mother.

Of all the joys and challenges, any human being can experience, first time motherhood is the most extraordinary journey any woman would like to experience. From the moment we learn we are pregnant, to the day we actually get to see one new life, we give birth to, we experience great amount of changes in our lives as mothers and parents. How to keep calm and enjoy every change is the purpose of my article.

 When we go through every possible article about first time pregnancy and first time motherhood, we start comparing our life and the approaching changes to that of those stories shared in baby manuals, magazines and books. But, things get different with each pregnancy and motherhood. Remember! A would be mother should keep herself prepared for the new challenges she may come across in her pregnancy as well as after her delivery. Emotions and expectations may turn upside down, when your knowledge will not match with your story. Rather than worrying and comparing, just sit back, relax and keep calm, because worrying will only makes things complicated.  Enjoy the new changes and developments. Doctors, Midwives, Husband, Family, Relatives and Friends will take care of everything else. I want to share few changes that I experienced while being pregnant. You may have already read about these changes, or are aware of it, but I am sure you will love to remember those days and relate your story, while you read along with me. If you have not, I hope my article will help you.

These are a few possible changes that may happen to the new mother when she is pregnant:

1.     Serious Emotional Changes

As soon as you learn about being pregnant, a huge need for special care and dependency occurs. The expectant mother wants more attention and pampering. Some mothers express this loudly; others keep it within themselves, thinking they are behaving immature. Some husbands often fail to understand this phase and behave as if things are as normal as it was.

2.     Every Pregnancy is Different

Always remember, changes that you are going through right now are unlike your friend’s or sister’s pregnancy. No two pregnancies are same. If you would like to know the good and bad side of any changes, consult your doctor. Sometimes good stories and articles can also help.

3.     Keep Yourself Energetic and Encouraged

It is very common to feel depressed, lonely, aloof, neglected, tired and exhausted. Pregnancy invites lots of problems along with new experiences. They are very common in a pregnant woman because ‘mood swings’ are very common in pregnancy although they tend to occur more frequently in the ‘first trimester’ and toward the end of the ‘third trimester’.

4.     Frustration

Too many sudden changes in your body may lead you to stay frustrated most of the times. Try to breathe calmly and go out for a walk, as soon as you experience any such symptoms. Listen to your favorite music and slowly you can move and groove. Also try and watch some baby videos or images and just switch your view from frustration to beautiful things and you will feel better. Try not to discuss such problems to anybody, as you will be loaded with suggestions and instructions. That will make you more frustrated and worried.

5.     5 Common Negative Feelings like; Fear, Self- criticism, Guilt, Anxiety and Anger will always hover over your head throughout pregnancy and eve after delivery.

These feelings are common, but may be little more in one pregnant woman and little less in other. All through your nine months, the ‘fear factor’ will rule. Fear about your pregnancy, baby’s health and protection etc. Any small concern will trigger your ‘fear hormone’ to react and overreact. Just speak out to your husband and doctor, if any such things get bigger in you. Similarly, guilt factor is also one of the major players in pregnancy and post pregnancy. I was the victim of this feeling. For every small yet different move in the whole process, I used to cry and just cry like a baby. It is absolutely okay to cry as much as you can, but try and calm your heart by saying, ‘everything is fine and will be fine soon. This phase will soon end for me as well’. Comparing one pregnancy to other will lead to self-criticism. Criticizing yourself about the weight gain, physical changes, pregnancy complications, change in skin tone and color, tummy size, etc. is a conscious act and you will continue doing it. I would rather say getting into comparison will lead you nowhere and you will end up being angry and frustrated. It is absolutely okay to look ugly or little different during your pregnancy, because your concern should be to deliver a healthy baby, so weight-gain is absolutely fine during this time.

6.     “The Last Minute” change.

This is so very frustrating. I remember when I was in pain for 17 hours and still not dilating, my doctor gave me IV fluids. I was still having painful contractions every 2 minutes and was dilated to only a 2 cm. So my doctor told me to go home and continue my labor until they’re painful again. I was frustrated, scared and in pain. The only thing I kept repeating to my husband was, ‘I cannot bear this pain anymore and want to go for a C-section. He tried to calm me by saying, ‘Later you will have tough time after a cesarean delivery, so have patience’. Patience! That was the only thing I did not know at that time. I did not want any epidural, just because I wanted to go through a normal process. When my body and mind was tired and badly exhausted after 17 hours of labor, finally my water broke. Thank God! I did not have to go back home in pain. But, my bad time, when I was examined, doctor found that the baby’s face has turned up and normal delivery is difficult. So I was immediately taken to the surgery room for a C-section delivery. Learn to go with the flow. Anything can happen in those last minutes. Just repeat to your self- I want my baby safe and sound, so any process is fine with me, and things will turn smooth and easy for you.

 I never felt jealous while looking at beautiful, slim, toned and well maintained would be moms, rather was happy to be one different pregnant woman. The only thing that kept me going all through my pregnancy was, I am going to deliver a beautiful and healthy baby and that’s it! Switch your thoughts from yourself to your baby, which is going to rock your world soon. Try and find out different ways to keep yourself busy, happily.

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother”.  Lin Yutang

This is so true! Motherhood is a miracle comes true. A long yet beautiful nine month’s miracle. Won’t you like to remember every small moments of this journey? After embracing all the changes that happened to me during these nine months, I thought my tough days are over and now it’s time to celebrate the arrival of new addition to our family, until I stepped onto new developments in me. First, the guilt of not being able to hold my baby in my arms and close to my chest immediately after the delivery ruined my pleasure. I got a chance to hold my daughter 45 minutes later of delivery. I was in pain again, but this time my pain was so calming and peaceful. I was a proud mother now. Emotions and feeling of great achievement overruled all other acts that were happening around me at that time. I did not realize the immediate changes in my motherly behavior as long as I was in the hospital, but as soon we were home, dark emotional clouds started disturbing me. I felt like, I am failing to control the physical and emotional changes that was happening with me. I started feeling very depressed.

With all my research, I was pretty sure I had that life-with-a-newborn thing down. Dow But it turned out that reading about new born babies and new mothers was very different than experiencing it. I mean, baby crying constantly for a long hour in the midnight, did not match to those stories, I had read online and in books. She neither liked staying swaddled and sleeping in the crib like my friend’s newborn.  These are just few ways; we were surprised as parents and as a mother to my newborn. Many more such activities were learned in our first year of parenthood. It used to be our great accomplishments, when we turned every ‘I don’t know how’ to ‘I now know’. I was surprised by pretty much everything, from bath to number of times they should be fed, after I had my first. Those first few weeks really can be horrifying if mothers don’t take care of their emotions.  Agony and ecstasy will build up as you will move forward in this journey. Surprises and new learning will control your whole act of being a first time mother. All you new mothers need to do is take a deep breath, stay calm and learn from the things that didn’t work or is not working. I am sure like me; you will find ways to deal with it. After all we have kind of God power (to create a new life and sustain it).

About The Author:

I am Epsita Mahapatra, a mother to a beautiful 3 year old daughter and a full-time blogger at present. I am decent at photography. But writing is my passion. This is the reason why I blog, to inspire lives positively by sharing my experiences and learning. I am an aspiring self-help and inspirational writer who believes strongly in positive thinking. I believe in finding possibilities in your negative attitude. My motto on LIFE- LIVE and CELEBRATE.