First Time in a Long Distance Relationship?? Tips to Make it work!


Why is there is so much in the internet about long distance relationship? It is because there is so much to talk about and learn from it. It is common to find people who are struggling to keep up with a long distance relationship, and most of the times a relationship fails when it goes on long distance. Here are some of the major problems that arise in a long distance relationship.
Reasons of breakdown:

1: Communication
This is one of the major problems in a Long Distance Relationship, and most importantly it acts as a cause for all possible problems too. That is why it is thought “Creator of problems” in a relationship
Communication stands as a ‘problem’ in a Long distance Relationship because there is no room for enough of it. You should normally choose alternative methods of communication unlike persons who are in a face to face relationship. And, by choosing alternate methods, you mostly rely on technology or third person. You can see a big difference between saying ‘hi’ with a smile to your partner face to face and typing ‘hi’ on a chat window.
On a chat window, your partner just knows you say hi to him, minus all the emotions and the charm. Well, most people are actually OK with this long distance communication, now that even people who stay in the same geography send emails and chat online. However, with a Long Distance Relationship you rely on third person or the technology for your communication.
2: A Complicated Future

Maybe you just met but don't know each other well enough to move to the same city. While there's strong chemistry, both of your lives are chugging along on parallel tracks. You can't just sell your house, quit your job and move. Or can you? And what if you moved but it didn't work out? What if he or she moved to your city (or into your home)? Would it be a dream come true or a suffocating nightmare?
Or perhaps you started off together, but circumstances, dreams, desires or conscious decisions created the physical distance now between you. It's important for a relationship to foster a sense of togetherness, and that the bond has a mutually acceptable sense of stability and momentum. But over time in a long-distance relationship, you may feel as present in your partner’s life as you do in the life of the coffee-shop regular you keep bumping into in your town .

3: Lack of Trust
Plenty of such relationships end because of trust issues (whether real or perceived), and long-distance relationships are a minefield of them. There's really no way of knowing whether or not the partner on the other side of the country is cheating on you. But remember that close proximity offers no guarantees, either. A healthy, monogamous relationship requires of its participants a moral compass, ethical grounding, commitment and devotion. A trusting relationship has a lot to do with your personalities, your dating histories, your behavioural patterns and whether you're naturally a jealous person.

4: Cost of Keeping in Touch:

While you were once able to meet for a sandwich and hang out downtown, getting together with your partner these days may mean booking airline tickets and securing hotel reservations.
For people in romantic relationships who live in different regions of the country, a few yearly visits to maintain the relationship could cost big bucks. Add to that long-distance phone bills, the shipping costs for care packages, and going all-out when you do get to spend time together, and you may be looking at a pretty pricy love connection.

5: Different Expectations:

What we -- and our partners -- expect out of a long-distance relationship goes a long way in determining our happiness and the success of those relationships.
"Long-distance relationship" can mean different things to different people. It may mean "heart-wrenching tragedy" to one person, while for the other partner it means "year-long vacation."
If a couple doesn't share the same expectations before the separation occurs, it can spell doom for a long-distance relationship. For one half of the couple, it may be viewed as a test of the relationship's strength, with an eye toward reuniting as soon as possible. The other, however, may view the separation as a fresh taste of life all on one's own.

If you're considering a long distance relationship or fall into one without much of a choice, don't worry -- there's help on the way. We turned to the experts for some tips on how to make your long distance relationship a success. Here's what we uncovered:

1 .Do Communicate :

With such busy lives and so many obligations pulling at you from all different directions, it's easy to neglect communicating. Using other modes of communication will keep you and your partner close even though you're technically far away from each other.
The good news that is even if your cell phone plan doesn't include unlimited national long distance -- or your love lives outside the country's borders -- you still have options.
To cut on the phone costs, she suggests using a service like VoxOx, a free Web application that combines Skype, Vonage, Google Voice and Digsby. That way, you can communicate with your beau without a financial hurdle.
Take advantage of other modes of communication
If you can't reach each another on the phone, then e-mail,  and text messaging will do, says Kelly. "When you're stuck in a meeting halfway across the world, it's always heart-warming to receive a loving text message from your sweetheart," he points out. "Set aside a certain time, every day, to connect with each other."

2. Keep the Romance alive:

You and your beau might not see each other every day, but it's important to keep the love going and present. "Give a little something -- mail a gift, write a love song, send a balloon-o-gram, order lunch and have it delivered to your honey -- just make it happen," says Kelly.
"You're not physically together all the time to enjoy those little extras that your sweetheart might do for you (like bringing you a latte made just the way you like it). Your sweetie will feel cherished knowing that you're thinking of him enough to send a special surprise." Plus, he will probably return the gesture and will make you feel super-special.
Get tips for keeping a long distance relationship red-hot!

3. Take part in an even-trip exchange:

Odds are you and your love will be visiting each other. It's important to make this even to avoid a disgruntled other-half. "Make sure that each person takes a turn visiting the other's city," says Kelly Bardeit, a dating and relationship expert, and author of several books .This way no one feels as though they are doing all the traveling, thus making all the effort in the relationship."

Don't take things personally
Things will get in the way, so be prepared. Since you and your partner live separately, odds are, you'll maintain your lives in your own cities. It will help your relationship if you remain understanding and flexible.
"Changes in plans come up, work gets in the way and family emergencies emerge as a normal part of life. If your partner cancels a trip, do not take it personally and make a huge deal over the change (unless it becomes a regular pattern of behaviour),". "Remember that you accepted the relationship as it is and must adjust to last minute cancellations as part of the deal."

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