Saying “No” to Your Kid!! Tips to make it More Positive..

"No." You hate to say it and hear it — but how else can you keep them safe and well-behaved? 

The word "no" is heard with great frequency in our everyday lives. As adults we find ourselves dealing with "no" on a regular basis. Children need to learn at an early age, that even though life can be a very positive experience, they will in fact be told "no" and they will have to learn how to accept it and move on. Parents have to set reasonable, age-appropriate boundaries for their children and teenagers, as well as providing needed discipline and consequences for inappropriate attitudes and behaviors, rather than parenting with empty threats where kids quickly learn the word “no” means nothing at all. Parents must learn how to say no to children without feeling like “the bad guy” for saying no and then caving in to demands, but must also balance saying no with saying yes when appropriate to do so, providing options, choices and explanations that are reasonable and age-appropriate for the child to understand.

1. Saying "yes" followed by an explanation instead of saying "no" puts a positive thought process in children's minds. Eventually, children will start telling themselves "Yes, I can." instead of "No, I can't." This builds their confidence in finding their own solutions to problem situations.

2. “No" is the most overused word parent say when talking to their children. It is no wonder when toddlers start talking, "no" is one of their first words directed mostly back at their parents. Parents who say, "No, because I meant so." commonly have children who throw temper tantrums or engage in frequent power struggles, making parenting difficult and frustrating.

3. With toddlers, distracting them from unwanted behavior is more effective than simply saying "no". If saying "no", "stop", "don't" or "quit" worked, parents would not have to repeat them dozens of times per day!

4. The repeated use of "no" reduces its effectiveness. Saying "no" for important or dangerous times increases the chance that children will listen. Also, children who repeatedly hear "no" have poorer language skills than children whose parents offer more positive responses.
It is hard for many parents to let go of "no" simply because they want to control the situation. However, giving children choices actually reduces power struggles and tantrums because they are a part of the decision.

5. Another alternative to "No" is giving children choices. "You can Play only half an hour now or want half a day to play tomorrow. It's your choice, what would you like to do?" A choice teaches children about taking responsibility and broadens their thinking to alternative options.

This is a time when the child is learning to make choices and you can help by giving him limited choices that won’t overwhelm him. Instead of asking the child if they want cereal for breakfast, ask if they want Fruits or Rice Crispies.

6. Here are a few easy tips on how to turn "No" into "yes":

     * Five minutes before lunch - "Can I have a chocolate?" Instead of "No, can't you see we are about to have dinner?" Say, "Yes, after lunch."   
      * A child wants to watch a movie right before bedtime - Instead of saying "No, it's almost your bedtime." Say, "Yes, when you wake up in the morning. I'll put it on the table so we don't forget."  
 7. Explain yourself: Consider explaining to your child why his behavior such as banging on the table over and over again is so bothersome to you. You might tell him, "You're hurting the table when you bang on it, and that makes me sad. Please stop." Although it may feel futile to reason with a toddler, you're actually teaching him something: "You're showing your child that what he does affects other people around him and you're giving him a crash course in empathy .It may take a while for your kid to develop concern for others' feelings, but reminding him of your perspective will help him along

Hope the above tips would help parents to Say No by Saying Yes !!

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