Face it – you’re running out of excuses to make the same fashion blunders that have been plaguing the civilised world for decades now. Why not make 2013 the year to break the habit and cross yourself off the list of those still setting the nation’s fashion image back a generation or two year after year?
Think you’re not guilty? Well, if you’re able to read through the following without a red face then you might be right. If not, well…shame on you I suppose!
Track Suits
The only thing that all tracksuits have in common is that in 99.9% of instances they are just plain wrong. There are a few people the world over that can get away with wearing track suits and they are all in the athletics and celebrity communities, though even these can have a hard time convincing anyone they don’t look like a prize pleb. For everyday life and for anyone that isn’t or wasn’t an official Spice Girl, tracksuits either make you look out of touch, lazy or frankly insane. And there’s really no excuse when upgrading to a pair of jeans and a top will set you back a tenner and bring you into the century you’re living in.
Unshaved Legs with Stockings
Right off the bat, women always have been, will be and should be allowed to choose which parts of their body they shave and which they’d prefer to keep as nature intended. However, nature is allowed to take its course on the legs for a few weeks or more, for the sake of every other man, woman and child on Earth please do not wear a pair of fully transparent tights or stockings. Hair is one thing, but stuffing them into tights gives the appearance of some kind of bizarre dead worm infestation all over the legs which I find it impossible to believe that anyone could find pleasant – including those guilty of such a crime.
Faking It
Not wearing orange tanning products – though they should also be outlawed – but rather investing in and for some misguided reason being proud of counterfeit products. Not only is it illegal and supporting a world of criminals that aren’t exactly in it for your good, but to wear a fake and try and pretend it’s real is just downright pathetic. If you’re not able or willing to shell out for a real Fendi bag, then don’t! Just don’t pretend that you did and lie to everyone…who are you trying to fool and why? It would make more of a statement to stay right away from designer goods and refuse to buy them on principles, rather than show-off something sewn by slave children in the Far East.
Bothersome Boobs
There is no such thing as a wrong or right boob size, type, shape or vertical drop – all are equal in the eyes of nature. However, there very much IS a right and wrong choice of clothing for each of these boob types and to opt for the exact polar opposite is unacceptable. For example, those with bra-busting boobs who for some reason where a going out dress three sizes too small that’s almost cheese-wiring their boobs in half…what are you thinking? Do you really think it looks nice? And likewise when gravity begins doing its work…is it really too much to ask to put a little support in place? We’re talking buying a decent bra and the right size of clothing…not exactly a big ask in the 21st century.
Public Makeup Sessions
Much as we know it isn’t the case, make up is supposed to make a woman look as though she was born flawlessly beauty and emerges every morning looking quite simply to die for. Regardless of the architectural efforts that go into their three hour makeup marathons every morning, just as long as a woman hits the world outside with a fresh and flawless look, it comes across as infinitely more natural. The alternative is to let the world see you painting your face, curling your eyelashes, tweaking your brows and squeezing your spots on the bus, in the office canteen or anywhere else and destroying the illusion for life.
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Stephanie Belner is a part-time fashion student and full-time mother of three who lives in Truro with her husband. When not penning blogs sharing her daily style teachings with the world, Stephanie enjoys nothing more than trying her hand at creating unique going out dresses and other garments for friends and family.
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Fashion