When going
through the painful emotional and relationship stress that are involved with
divorce, it is important to take care of yourself, your finances, and your
children throughout the difficult process. As you take steps towards
independence during the legal proceedings surrounding separation from a former
spouse, consider how to handle your situation with proactive action and a
positive attitude - enlisting the support of friends, family, and professionals
along the way.
Facing Reality: Managing Your Own Emotions
Going through
a divorce is a daunting process, involving many confusing emotions surrounding
your years of married life. Even if you consider yourself an emotionally stable
individual, it can be incredibly helpful to seek out the processional help of a therapist so that you can
effectively process the stress involved in breaking up with your former life
partner. Experts in marriage counseling encourage individuals going through
divorce - no matter the reason of the split - to avoid dating others for
several months. This period will allow you to adjust to the new obstacles and
challenges presented by divorce, including the financial changes that will add
an incredible amount of stress onto your everyday life.
How to Speak to Your Friends About Divorce
Divorce is no
longer a social death sentence - as it becomes more common, many who once
looked down upon failed marriages now understand the reality of divorce. Though
there is increasing acceptance of divorce, it is still helpful to keep many of
the private details of the divorce proceedings quiet. Many individuals
struggling to overcome the turmoil of divorce turn to one or two confidants
that they can comfortable entrust this information to without fear of gossip
spreading around a wider circle. It can be extremely helpful to know that you
aren't alone during these extremely difficult times, and confiding in a few
close friends or colleagues about the situation can help you maintain mental
and emotional health during this period.
Speaking to Your Children About Divorce:
Navigating Difficult Conversations
Every divorce
is different: sometimes things are extremely amicable between former spouses,
and other times the situation can be far more volatile. With this in mind,
allow your conversations with your children to focus on the positive. It will
be easier for you to overcome the difficult emotions
surrounding divorce if you are able to maintain a positive emotional environment for your
children. Emphasize that their parents love and care about them very much, and
that this isn't their fault. Many families find it very helpful to attend
family therapy together, providing a safe space to talk about the difficult
emotions and feelings surrounding a divorce where children feel heard and
loved. You will find that this will help stabilize your emotions as well,
knowing that there is some peace and solidarity throughout these trying times.
Dealing With a Child Support Case
If you are
having a more difficult time with your child support case because of a
negligent spouse, be frank and upfront with your legal representation. It might
be necessary to enlist the help of professionals who specialize in child
support issues during divorce, helping you to secure the appropriate money that
you need to help care for your children until they reach legal adulthood.
Though talking about money can be difficult, sticking up for your children’s
needs throughout the divorce proceedings can make a difference for their entire
lifetime. Make sure that their educational needs and well-being are clearly
outlined in your divorce papers as well.
This is a
guest post by freelance writer Claire Wilson for Mullins Law Office who can
provide you with efficient help if you also have a child support case.