When you are ready to have sexual relations with a person, you’ll need to have an important talk with them. You both will need to discuss your sexual health and history, to ensure that there are no surprises. Having this talk can protect you from contracting STDs, but it can be a little awkward. Even though it may be uncomfortable, it’s imperative that you have this talk, honestly and openly. To that end, here are a few tips for navigating this necessary conversation.
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Be 100 Percent Transparent
When you decide to be intimate with someone, complete honesty is always the best policy. Maybe you prefer to not use condoms. Maybe you haven’t been this open and honest with sexual partners in the past. While these two practices generally increase the chances you may contract an STD, they are realities that many people must contend with. Whether you or your current partner have eschewed more open communication or safe sex habits in the past, taking the necessary precautions, being honest and transparent will benefit you both in the long run.
Suggest Getting Tested Together
It will ease both of your minds to know, without a doubt, that neither of you have any STDs. It’s easier to find an affordable and discreet facility near you where you may inquire about comprehensive STD testing. Getting tested will let you both know if you’re positive or negative for diseases. It will also show that you’re responsible and care about their wellbeing.
If your partner doesn’t want to get tested, you have some things to consider. Do they not want to get tested because they are hiding something? If so, they could be putting you at risk for infections. If they don’t care about your sexual health, then maybe they’re not mature enough to be having sex with. People who care about you will be willing to get tested for STDs, even if they know they don’t have anything. It will help to put both of your mind's at peace.
Discuss Birth Control
It’s important to decide what birth control option is best for the both of you. Tell them if you’re on the pill, receive depo shots, or have an IUD. Additionally, discuss using condoms with them. If you’re using birth control, you may think that you don’t need to use a condom during sex, but that’s not right. Condoms can help to protect you against STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Condoms aren’t 100 percent effective, though.
If you want to use a condom, but your partner doesn’t, you need to assert yourself. Don’t make yourself uncomfortable just to appease your partner. This is important to remember because you both need to be comfortable to have a healthy relationship.
Have the Talk at the Right Time
When you have this talk, you need to do it one-on-one and when it’s not busy. Calling your partner during their lunch break or discussing it over a dinner date probably won’t work well. Have the talk with them when you’re in private and have the time to talk.
Lay Down Some Ground Rules
While you’re talking about sex with your partner, it might be a good idea to discuss some ground rules. You can tell them what you are open to doing and what you’re not opening to do. It’s a good time to clear the air and to make sure that you’re both going into this comfortable.
No Matter What, Have the Talk
No matter how nervous you are, you need to discuss your sexual history with your partner. It’s important that you both know if you’ve had any STDs or currently have any STDs. Also, it allows you to find out what types of birth control you want to use and what you’re comfortable doing. Trust me, you won’t regret this.
About Author: Chester Abernathy is a freelance writer specializing in health and wellness. When he’s not writing, Chester enjoys training for marathons and volunteering at a local STD testing clinic.