“Jealousy as thick as mud. It's in my
veins, it's in by blood. Jealousy. It's plain to see I love you more than you
love me.” /Frankie Miller, “Jealousy”/
We
have all felt that sharp hot stab of jealousy that occurs when a potential
rival appears and threatens to take “our precious”. We feel fear and hatred to
the intruder and our confidence suddenly disappears. And then comes jealousy –
this unwanted guest that comfortably stretches its legs in the middle of our
relationship every now and then. And then the quarrel begins.
Some
people say that if you are jealous, then you love your partner. Some say
jealousy is a mirror and reflects our fear of being neglected, and this shows
lack of confidence. Personally, I think the second ones are right and jealousy
shows our low self-esteem. When someone is jealous, it is because they have
some doubts about themselves and not about their partner, and this is not a pleasant
thought. This makes jealousy a serious problem, because it happens to be not a
sign of affection but of possession.
It
is true that both genders are equally jealous. Both men and women who are
jealous normally pickpocket their spouse, read their e-mails and check their
voice mail. The jealous ones are tense and suspicious and they are always ready
to start the quarrel first. However, there is a difference between the ways men
and women see jealousy. Women, for example, often use jealousy as a means of
seduction. They have some fun by making their spouse or boyfriend jealous
because they truly believe that this way they will make him want them even
more. Do you recognize your own behavior? If yes, don't forget that this is a
dangerous game you are playing and you may get the reverse effect.
And
sometimes, it happens that with our actions we only humiliate both ourselves
and our partner. Remember that jealousy is not always there for a reason and
that is why many specialists say that it is more like a psychological problem
or a mental trauma that we have had back in the past. In both cases we should
be able to suppress or overcome it, because it will not only ruin our current
relationship but can also be an obstacle for creating a new one.
Jealous
people live in a hell that they create themselves, because constant fear and
suspicion drains them mentally and physically. They can't participate as an
equal part in their relationship, because they feel insecure about the love of
their partner and their own qualities. And when jealousy becomes more or less a
medical condition, being in the relationship becomes
unbearable, so you better take some measures against it on time.
If
you can recognize yourself in this article, then you have a problem. Remember,
jealousy can turn your relationship to a fiasco. It shifts all positive
emotions and replaces them with some other ones that are completely
unnecessary. And still, jealousy is not insurmountable.
There
is a solution to the problem.
First,
and most important, try not to spy on your partner. Checking their cell phone
for secret messages or voice mail and reading their e-mails won't help. They
don't give an answer to your suspicions.
Second,
be sincere. Try to talk with your partner and share your troubles with them.
You will see for yourself that most times there is not a threat for your
relationship. If you are unable to cope with your fears yourself and find the
real reason for them, then you should look for some help and talk with a
specialist.
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About the author:
Jessica Conars' big love is her family which she really loves. She works
for Stockwell home cleaning
and thanks to that she is living happy life with her family.
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Tags
Lifestyle