Meeting your daughter's new boyfriend for the first time

Meeting your daughter's boyfriend for the first time can be classified as one of those situations, where you are faced with a difficult decision – should you trust this young boy or not. The fact of the matter is that unless you become familiar with both his character and his occupation, the best thing you can do is speculate. And speculation leads to some very bad consequences, the like of which can be quite detrimental for your daughter and her well-being.

Invite The Man To Dinner

First and foremost it is your responsibility to make sure that your daughter is in the hands of a person who is not a liar, a thief, a junkie or just plain poor. The best way to test all this is by inviting the person in question over to your house for some home-cooked food and refreshing beverages. Now, it comes with no surprise that first impressions matter the most. Watch when will your guest arrive. If he is on time that means he is a serious go-getter. If he is tardy this means that he is a slacker and quite the irresponsible scoundrel. Once the boy arrives at the scene, greet him like would would greet a dear guest. Make sure that he feels like he could trust you (this is when a person is the most likely to show his bad side) while at the same time look for anything that can show his social status. Shoes, clothes, mannerism etc. If he is wearing sneakers this means he doesn't have a lot of money. Loafers are alright.

Ask Him About His Life

Once everyone has settled, it is time for little interrogation and a whole lot of prying. You can start the conversation with something like 'Where do you live?”, “What does your dad do for a living?”, things like that – just to break the ice. You should avoid questions like “Have you ever been in jail” or “Are you on any needle drugs”, for if he is he probably wouldn't tell you; if he is clean there is a big chance he will get offended. So unless you are 100% sure you need to ask, don't bother. Of course asking trivial question like “Have you ever been married”, “Do you have children”, “Do you have a job”, “What is your job?” etc. You can play a little sneaky-Pete and try a trick question – like asking the same question two time and see if he gets the facts all mixed up.

No Intimidation Needed

There is no need for you to act all mean and stuff, when it is painfully obvious that the kid is already terrified enough as it is. Be more of a “the step dad”, who is strict but just. Who knows, you might even become friend. But if you sense any foul play whatsoever, don't be afraid to act and either talk to your daughter (not that this will work) or talk to the boy, either way you have to talk to one of them. I suggest the thug. Calmly but assertively explain that because he *reason for your contempt*  that he no longer can see your daughter. No violence, no threats. Just calmly ask the fellow to leave. And I am sure that in time your daughter will see differently as well.

About the author:
Jane Mires works at for 3 years now and she is very happy. She loves to spend her free time writing on family matter.

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